Aug 8, 2007
When I was young, many tales told me that princess will marry with her prince forever. On that day i had never realized that what 'Forever' means and had no question about why every princess had to marry. It might be that I had never think of marriage before. I just liked any good-looking men, then let him pass away.
I had met my first boy when I was five. I didn't remember even his face so I didn't know his name also. Can I count him in my account? Anyway, he did something with me. While I was standing amoung my frined, thinking anything like every times I did when I had nothing to do. Then someone approached me and ... then ... kiss my cheek! Afther that he ran away. I didn't know what i sould do. After shock is that I was standing in that area... Did nothing.
Then I grew up, attending in Elementary School. I had met many boys in that school, but i didn't have any special relation with anyone. I really love my friends. Actually, I really love a boy when I was 11. He studied in the same class of mine. He was my type; a chiness boy with little eyes, white skin, thin and tall. Anyway, I didn't do anything also 'coz many girls in my class like him.
In my Secondary School, I fell in love with my one-year junior. I expressed every my emotions to him because I had noting to lose and I know that I didn't really like him. I just favoured more than loved. He was my type, but I was sure that I didn't choose him because he was younger than me.
When I was 15, I had found my soulmate. He is a really good-looking singer I had ever seen before. when I met him, I realized that he is YES! I fell in love with him ... P' BEAM. He was always in my mind since then... for good.
I had 2 choices when I was 18. One was my nonsense friend in my class room. He let the junior girls tell me that he like me. Sometimes he expressed untill I realized that something was wrong about our friendship. Actually I really like him also. I asked him in personal but he say no. Anyway I have another choice in that time. The choice is that my senior who I had met for 6 years...He was the next one.
Have I ever taken love seriously? Sure, i'm a woman, am i?
I met my last boy when I was 13 but we tried to study each other when I was 18. This is my first time I took love seriously. We saw many movies, went to many festival and went to his faculty together. I always miss him at night before I sleep. I though that he might be a real one that I can count on. but ... at one night I realize that he was not!
It looked like my world collapse in that moment. That was a big deal, my big problem. I didn't cry but i did nothing ... again.
I had never dream of my endless love becaues my life never touch in any love before. All I know is that I can love anyone I want to. When I tried to take it seriously, they or myself ran away.
Since I was a student in a university, I passed every year with my colleague friends; Jay, Nop, Tom, and Mild. We stuck together, never had any relationship breakdown. We studied together, had lunch, talked and played together.
Something was changed in this year. I was an only one in my group of friends who moved to Tha Prachan campus. I was a stand alone student. no my close friends any more.
2 months passed, I realized that many things were changed. My close friends got their own boy/girl friends, so do I. I talked with Tom that if i know that spreading out made everybody got their own lover, we shouldn't stick together since 1st year. Tom said that he disagree. It might be come of age. It was a time that we would find someone who was more than friend.
I don't know what is happening in the future. I just hope that everyone will be happy with their own couples.
Is there any endless love in this world?
Relationship with friends is my endless love. I think that friendship will never breakdown. for myself, about my boyfriend, I hope that it is better to be my friend first. Then we gradually study each other. I will fall in love with him because he is becoming, and hope that he will love me even I am becoming also.
As Aj.Decha have said ... We love our lovers because he/she is becoming, not being, while we are becoming also.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
I'm waiting for you.
